A letter of complain from some italian guy...

The Manager

Y.M.C.A. Hotel
LONDON

Roma, 28 Sept. 198I

Dear Signore Direttore,

Noew I am tella you a story wot I was treted at your hotella.

I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay a jounge
christian man at your hotella.

When I comma in my raom I see there is no shit on my bed. So
I call down to receptione and tella:

"I wanta shit". They tella me: "Go to toilet".

I say: "No, no, I wanta shit in my bed". They say: "You d
better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch".

What is sonna-wa-bitch?

I go down for brekfast into restorante. I order bacon and
egga and two pissis of toast. I gettaonly one piss of toast.
I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss".

She tella me: "Go to toilet". I say: "No, no, I wanta piss on
my plate". She then say to me: "Don even trye to piss on the 
plate, you sonna-wa-bitch".

That is the second person who do not even know me calla me
"sonna-wa-bitch" and why is your staff replying "go to toilet",
is that a modern tella? I do not understand, tella me.

Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is
Iaid out, but not fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock". And
she tella me: "Sure, Everyone want a fock". I tella her: "No,
no, you don t understanda me. I wanta fock on the table." She
tella me: "So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get
your ass out of here.".

How comma this christian hotell tella the guest in such bad
manner?

So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this
hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier said to
me: "Thank you, and piss on You". I say: "Piss on you too, you
sonna-wa-bitch. I now go back to Italy".

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you
sonna-wa-bitch.

                                     Sincerely
                                               Dicci Elgre