The Revised History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Large scale structure formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Galaxy formation. Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Stellar remnant production. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Carbon dioxide solution. Water photodissociation. Escaping hydrogen. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Polymerization. Coacervate formation. Molecular reproduction. Fermentation. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms! Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Multicellular organisms. Evolutionary diversification. Fossilization. Trilobite domination. Land exploration. Comet collision. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Fermentation. Religion. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Colonization. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Population explosion. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. Union. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?