National Condom Week

(YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GREAT SEX WITHIN FOUR DAYS OF RECEIVING THIS LETTER, PROVIDED YOU SEND IT ON)

LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK

  1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
  2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
  3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
  4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
  5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
  6. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG
  7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT
  8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
  9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE
  10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER
  11. SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK
  12. IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
  13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS
  14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, ZIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
  15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
  16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
  17. DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
  18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
  19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
  20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
  21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
  22. IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT OFF, HAVE IT ON

Since the copy must tour the world, you must make ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send copies to people who need to get laid within 96 hours.

You have been selected to receive this letter because the person who sent this to you either thinks you need good luck, he wants to send the curse of this letter to you or he just wants to get laid by you (see below).

IF YOU SEND THIS LETTER TO:

0 people, your life will be a living hell
1-3 people, your next relationship will be fun but won't last long
4-6 people, someone will get a crush on you
7-10 people, you will get a date for Friday night
11-14 people, you will get a date for the next school dance
15-18 people, your crush will ask for your number
19-24 people, you will meet the person of your dreams
25-29 people, your crush will ask you out
30-34 people, your next relationship will last long and be good
35-37 people, you will live long enough and have a good life and get lots of sex