Some goodies to cheer your days and caution those feelings for Clinton.


From David Letterman......

Top 10 Benefits From a White House Internship:

10. First hand knowledge of domestic affairs
9. Pay is lousy, but the hush money is great
8. Gives new meaning to MTV slogan ``Rock the Vote''
7. Observe the President's commitment to young people first hand
6. Learn intricacies of statutory rape law
5. Have president chase around desk brandishing his `subpoena'
4. President tells you he really wants you on his staff
3. Try out JFK's legendary rocking chair
2. Have president introduce you to his `special investigator'
1. Find out what a politician means when he says he's been polling his constituents


Overheard at the White House Super Bowl XXXII party:
"For the last time, Bill. It's not pronounced Triple-X? Aye, aye!"


President Clinton has vehemently denied that he told former intern Monica Lewinsky to lie.
"What I actually said," claims the President, "was to lie down."


Today's headline read: "Clinton Probe Expands".
It turned out to be a direct quote attributed to Monica Lewinsky.


Monica Lewinsky entered the White House to see Clinton's personal secretary.
Hey, if that's what he wants to call it... Also he usually calls it his Chief of Staff.


Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.


Monica Lewinsky told Bill Clinton in the Oval Office that the ceiling needs to be painted.


Q: What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business?
A: The Oral Office.


Q: Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study?
A: He wants to show them his executive branch.


Who is the only woman in the White House not sleeping with Clinton?
Hillary


What are the job requirements for secretaries at the White House?
The have to know the President's zip code.


In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of her late night meetings with the President...
"I can't remember the details, she said, but I know the answer is on the tip of my tongue!"


Why did Monica always drink with a straw while she was an intern?
Practice.


Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.


Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
Clinton was showing her the proper way to take "dic"tation.


Seen on an Arkansas Car Bumper:
"Honk, if you haven't had sex with Bill Clinton"